Our Special Needs Project team is currently in the Philippines, meeting children to help them find adoptive families. In between long days of travel and assessing dozens of children, our social workers sent the following report — to share about the children who have especially touched their hearts.

By the end of our trip, we will have spent 12 days in the Philippines, traveling by car, ferry, van and plane to meet 42 children — in hopes of finding them loving, adoptive families once we return to the U.S.

Each of these 42 children has sat down with myself, Luisa or Brooke (all of us Holt social workers from our Special Needs Project [SNP] adoption team) while we conduct interviews and assessments, and gather photos and videos to try and get a true sense of their personality, strengths and needs.

We all have children who have especially touched our hearts — children we have cried after talking with because of how special they are, how much they desire an adoptive family to love and support them…

Some of the Children We’ve Met

I think of Bernila*, a 14-year-old girl who is very talented in music and art. She was initially shy, but started to open up after talking for a few minutes. She was very inquisitive and wanted to know all of our favorite things. She admitted that she is teased by the other children because of her acne and it makes her sad when that happens. She wants a family who enjoys traveling because she wants to travel the world.

Another child who Luisa fell in love with has been waiting for a family for such a long time. She has a significant medical condition that has made it more difficult to find a family for her in the past. But part of this is because families that have seen her on the special home finding list don’t have access to a full description of her condition or an updated picture of her. After spending time assessing and playing with this child, it’s clear that she is a true gift, has many talents, and does not allow her medical condition to get in the way of her love for life or faith in being adopted by the right family.

There was a sibling group of two boys where the younger boy has a medical condition and the older boy clearly loves and is protective of his little brother. The older brother describes trying to protect his brother from being teased by others and watched out for him while we visited them. You could see their loving bond just from how they looked at each other.

Another older girl we met was so friendly and engaged — such a sweet and giggly teenager who loves to talk with her friends and has a crush on a boy in her class. She has traumatic and sad memories of her life with her biological family, and desires a family where she can receive love and undivided attention.

The Children Waiting for Families

Each of the children we’ve met is such a joy! Because most of them speak English, we were able to talk with them with only minimal assistance from an interpreter. Some children are extremely outgoing and ready to engage with us, and others are very shy and reserved. They’re all very familiar with adoption and most have seen friends get adopted. Adoption is an everyday conversation these children have with their caregivers.

The children range in age from 4 to 15, with the majority being in the 10-12 age range. We have seen sibling groups and single children, children who wish to be an only child, some who want older siblings and others who want (and would thrive with) younger siblings. We met with two children who have very significant medical conditions, but who are so happy and wish to be with a family. Other sibling groups we’ve met all love each other and want to be placed together. There’s even a sibling group of six! The older children in the sibling groups know that it will take a unique family to move forward with their adoption, but they still have hope…

And that is exactly why our trip, and this adoption program, is so important: hope. As we return to the U.S. with in-depth information and photos of each child, it gives them greater hope of joining a family.

Adopting a Child From the Philippines SNP

Families who would be a good fit for adopting a child from this program should be understanding of developmentally appropriate pre-teen and teenage behaviors, be supportive of a child’s faith and how they choose to worship, and have a true commitment to lifelong parenthood. They need to be flexible, understanding, accepting, loving, good advocates, and have large toolbox of resources — as well as a great sense of humor! Ideal families will meet a child where they are at, can sustain delayed gratification when it comes to attachment, are invested in the Filipino culture, and will utilize TBRI in their parenting.

If you or someone you know is interested in learning more about any of the children we’ve met on our trip, we ask that you come to a Lunch and Learn to hear more about them. And please don’t hesitate to reach out to Luisa or Brooke if you see a child on the SNP photolisting that you feel a connection to — they’d love to tell you more about them!

*Name changed

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Holt’s Special Needs Projects (SNP’s) are the only ones of their kind in the U.S., setting them apart from other programs. Through these programs, Holt social workers from the U.S. travel to meet children in person! Holt currently has SNPs in the Philippines and Thailand, and hopes to utilize this advocacy strategy in more countries in the future. By visiting children waiting for adoptive families and meeting them face to face, Holt social workers can learn about their personalities and interests, and review any medical, developmental, cognitive or emotional needs they may have. This helps our clinical social workers best determine the kind of family they will thrive in — maybe yours!

If you’re a prospective adoptive parent concerned about the unknowns in adoption, one of Holt’s Special Needs Projects may be the right choice for you because of the detailed information our highly trained social workers are able to provide about children in these programs.

February 2024 Trip to the Philippines

During this February 2024 trip, the Holt social workers will visit and gather information about these children and their daily lives. They’ll also speak with a variety of people who work with the children, including teachers, caregivers, nurses and social workers. Having a comprehensive portrait of the child’s life, personality and environment, Holt staff here in the U.S. will better position our social workers to advocate and talk with prospective adoptive parents about the individual needs of these children.

And when prospective families reach out to Holt, we will now have a wealth of information and photos to share! Often, we can even direct families to a staff member who traveled to the Philippines and interacted personally with the child. They can then give their impressions and perspective on the child’s needs! In the world of international adoption, this kind of interactive approach is transformative for children and families alike.

While the team is there, they will also have real conversations with the children. They get to talk to them about adoption and their wishes for the future.

The Benefit of Conversations about Adoption with Children

Celeste Snodgrass, Holt’s senior director of clinical services, was part of the team that visited the Philippines in 2023 on Holt’s first SNP trip. She participated in many of these conversations — including how the children felt about the possibility of adoption.

“We discussed the topic of adoption often. The majority of children have seen friends be placed with adoptive families,” Celeste says. “When asked what they would wish for if they had three wishes, most children said their first wish would be for an adoptive family. Many children said they pray every night for an adoptive family.”

“It is so nice to meet with these children!” Celeste continues. “Their personalities really come alive when we talk with them about things they enjoy and games they like to play. Meeting them and getting to sit down and engage in both play and discussion with them means we are able to highlight who they are as a person. This helps us advocate to find them an adoptive family!”

The children in the program tend to be older, between 9 and 15 years old. For these youth, a dialogue about adoption is especially important.

“I hope that these children will feel that they have a voice in communicating with prospective families,” says Luisa Barnes, Holt social worker and director of adoption for Korea and the Philippines. “Since most of these children are older, their input is so important for a successful adoption. Their wishes, dreams and the vulnerability that they shared with us are so impactful. There is no doubt that families will see how incredible they are!” 

Last year some children said they want to be adopted into a two-parent family, others said they wanted a single mom. Many children wanted adoptive siblings while others were looking for pets. Whatever their wish, our SNP team listened and assured them the agency would do everything to advocate for them when they returned to the U.S.

Want to learn more about the children who need families through this special project? Our agreement with the Philippines government requires us to only share the children’s profiles with families who have an active application with Holt. If you fall into this category and you would like to view the children who are waiting, please email our waiting child team at waitingchild@holtinternational.org.

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Get in touch with our team of expert advocates for the waiting children we feature.

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The post Holt’s Unique Adoption Program in the Philippines Is Growing appeared first on Holt International.

Although it was very intense in the moment, being a preferred parent seemed to not last very long in the big picture, in my experience.

To give general perspective on the timeframe, when we met our 3-year-old daughter, she seemed to come to both my husband and I equally for the first day. However, two to three days after she was in our care, she came to me for comfort and needs, and treated my husband like another big kid — to be played with and teased, but not to be trusted. When she was in a good mood and had plenty of energy, she would wrestle and run with him, but when she was tired or uncertain of her situation, she would resort to pushing him away, sticking her tongue out at him and refusing to touch him, etc. This behavior grew more and more intense as we stayed the remainder of our time in Thailand (about two weeks).

She would panic and cry if she woke up and I wasn’t around. It seemed to get worse in the evenings, perhaps because she was tired. She wouldn’t let me leave the hotel room without her. The most intense part was that she wanted me to carry her whenever we left the hotel. It’s understandable that she would be intimidated by the big city and traffic, the Metro and noisy tourist destinations. Emotionally and physically, it was really challenging for me to carry an almost 30-pound 3-year-old whenever we went out. She refused a toddler carrier, and wouldn’t sit in the stroller. I knew she needed reassurance, and I wanted to strengthen our bond and continue to hold her, so I didn’t force the carrier or stroller. But it was very hard on me.

She refused to let my husband carry or touch her, which frustrated him as well. I’m sure he struggled with feelings of rejection. He shared with me that he felt great frustration at the helplessness of seeing that I needed support, but knowing our daughter wouldn’t let him care for her in the same way that she let me. I felt exhaustion coupled with guilt that this child that we had waited for, for so long — whom we already were beginning to love — seemed to be bonding with me, but I needed a break from her.

It was also sad for me to not be able to spend as much quality time with my 7-year-old biological son, who was also on the trip with us. Our family would end up pairing off, with my husband taking our son to the pool in the afternoons, and me staying back in the hotel room with our daughter because she was afraid of the water. Our son said he missed me so much. I was so grateful that our daughter trusted and chose me, but I still felt lonely being left in the hotel room. 

For the remainder of the time in Thailand, I carried her, put her to bed and comforted her when she was upset. At times, she would play with my husband, but mostly he supported the family by planning the day’s outings, calling cabs, picking up takeout, etc. Thankfully, she slept through the night and seemed comfortable in the room with our son. Some mornings, I was able to get up early and slip out to the hotel gym to get a moment to myself before she woke up.

For the trip home, I carried her through the airports, and sat beside her on the plane. (Both kids actually did really well on the long flight home!)

It’s been three months since we’ve been home, and gradually our daughter has gotten to the point where she seems to prefer both of us equally. I’m not exactly sure when or how it happened, but after several weeks or so, my husband was able to take a turn with bath time and bedtime routines, and take our daughter out on short errands with just the two of them. She will even let him hold her hand! Now she asks him to carry her and even begs for rides on his shoulders!

I don’t know that we did anything specifically to have her trust us both equally, other than letting her see over time that we were both there for her consistently — and providing opportunities for her to spend time with each of us separately. Throughout the transition, my husband was (and still is) a steady, loving presence. Our daughter no longer treats him like an older boy to tease. He is officially “Daddy” in her eyes. There are still times where she will come to me first — to sit on my lap in the mornings after she gets up, or if she is hurt — but generally, she seems to be bonded to us equally. When he goes to work, she demands to know, “Where’s Daddy?” And will ask about him throughout the day. When he gets home from work, she will proudly run to show him something she colored, or how she clipped her favorite barrette in her hair, just so! 

Now she comes to either one of us to comfort her when she’s sad, or when she needs something. I’m able to leave for several hours to go out to the store, or to an evening class. Early on, I tried to make a habit of telling her, “Mommy, will come back soon. Mommy will always come back,” even when I left for short periods. Our son enjoyed emphasizing this point by repeating, “Mommy always comes back!” Now that she has started morning preschool, I still tell her “Mommy will come back soon” every day when I drop her off. She understands, and is ok with me leaving.

If I were to give any advice to parents, it would be to have hope that we found the preferred parent situation temporary. In country, when picking up your child, I would say to do what you need to be comfortable, and try not to force things. Support the preferred parent as much as possible (carry luggage, call taxis, order takeout, etc.). Reassure the other parent who is being rejected that they are doing a good job, and the child is not rejecting them personally. Tell them not to give up, but continue to gently offer opportunities to play and spend time together.  I would tell families to not feel pressured to do too many “touristy” activities in country, but fall back on what is pleasurable and relaxing for their family, whether it’s going out or staying in at the hotel. At the same time, check in with everyone’s mental health to see if someone needs more time or specific support.

Don’t force anything when dealing with the added stress of travel when picking up your child in country, or even in the early days at home.

Eventually at home, you can gradually introduce your child to spending brief periods of time alone with the non-preferred parent, and you will be surprised when things begin to change. In short, don’t give up! The days are long, but one day will come when your child holds hands with both you and your partner, and wants nothing more than to be with both of you!

Holt’s Adoptive Parent Resource Center Helps You Raise Resilient Children

Explore parenting resources, tips and guidance to help your adopted child thrive!

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“There were three hurdles to this adoption,” Mario Martinez says. “First, the international adoption process, which involved navigating both Thai and American governments, the second was COVID-19, which complicated the process and the third has been the challenges of full parental guidance while the family remains actively engaged in determining the optimal path for Yada’s present and future, encompassing both her lifestyle and professional aspirations.”

Mario Martinez and his wife, Evalyne Amornchainont, recently completed the adoption of Evalyne’s niece, Yada, who had been born and raised in Thailand. The process took five years, but they are thrilled to have it completed and to finally be united with their niece in the United States!

Yada’s Background

Almost 18 years ago, Evalyne’s brother and his girlfriend found out they were pregnant with a baby girl. Around the same time, both received a sentence of 10 years in prison in Thailand.

So, when Yada was born, her mother had no way to take care of her.

Evalyne was living in the United States at the time — she had immigrated, gone to school and started a successful company.

“I was already in the United States,” Evalyne says. “So my sister was awarded guardianship over Yada and took care of her. I had always wanted to take care of that baby, ever since I learned about her, but I couldn’t at first. It made more sense for my sister to take her.”

But Evalyne stayed in close touch with her family in Thailand. She went home and visited often, watching Yada grow up. When Yada was about 7, her mother was released from prison. Yada got to know her mother, who was thinking about reclaiming custody. But, a few years later, Yada’s mother sadly passed away from cancer.

By this time, Yada was approaching her teenage years. Her father, Evalyne’s brother, had been released from his first prison sentence. But he quickly returned to the same lifestyle and went back to prison. Since then, he has gotten out of prison again and has changed his lifestyle, maintaining close communication with his daughter. However, he feels that he lacks the necessary fatherly parenting skills to raise her. So, he was in favor of Mario and Evalyne adopting Yada. He firmly believes that his daughter’s prospects for success in the U.S. will be significantly enhanced under the care of his sister and Mario.

“As Yada got older, my sister said she wasn’t sure she had the capability to take care of a teenager,” Evalyne says. “I had more ability by that time. Mario and I had gotten married too, so he and I started talked about adopting her. Mario had been in my life for 10 years, he had come with me to visit Thailand several times, so Yada knew him.”

So, in 2016, Evalyne and Mario decided to move forward with adopting Yada. At that point, she was 11 years old.

Complications of Adopting a Relative

Evalyne contacted an adoption center in Thailand. The staff there shared that they had just started working with an organization called Holt International.

The process took an especially long time for Evalyne and Mario because there were two court cases involved. First, the courts had to process Evalyne’s sister relinquishing guardianship of Yada. Then, a second case had to go through for Evalyne and Mario to file for adoption.

In the midst of the second court case, they ran into a snag: Evalyne’s attorney had told them that Mario didn’t need to be on the petition for adoption that they filed with the Thai government. But, Mario’s name was already on the paperwork that they had filed through Holt. So, when all the paperwork got to court, it didn’t match. They had to get Mario retroactively added onto the petition for adoption, which extended the process significantly.

And then, as though they weren’t already experiencing enough complications, the COVID-19 pandemic gripped the world in the spring of 2020. The pandemic interrupted international adoptions around the world, including Yada’s.

Adjusting to the Thought of Leaving Thailand

Yada was about 14 at the time. She was interested in life in the United States — but not convinced it was what she wanted. This is a common feature of adopting an older child, for any prospective adoptive parents.

Older children have become more attached to the country of their birth, especially in a situation like Yada’s where she was living with family. Older children are familiar with their birth language and their birth culture; they have friends, interests and a life. Yada went to a private school in Thailand where she had learned English, which helped, but she still struggled with the thought of leaving her home.

“Before, when Yada was young, she really wanted to come to America,” Evalyne says. “But then as she got older, she had more friends and a boyfriend. That made it harder, and for a while she didn’t want to come anymore.”

Yada came to live with Evalyne and Mario for a few months before they adopted her. During that time, she just wanted to go back to Thailand.

This is where some of the family dynamics came into play, in Evalyne and Mario’s view. The whole family supported the idea of Yada coming to the United States, to be able to go to a good college and have the best chance to succeed in life. Everyone told Yada they thought it was a good idea.

“Our whole family thought it was a good idea, and she also saw her dad’s life and wanted to be better,” Evalyne says. “So she made a good decision, I’m proud of her.”

Evalyne and Mario brought Yada to their home in Washington state in January 2023, when she was 16 years old.

“The second time she came, once we adopted her, her mindset had changed,” Mario observes. “She saw the value of coming here and going to school. She was ready to be more independent and adopt a new lifestyle.”

Today, Yada is officially an American citizen! She is applying to college and making plans for the future.

A Future For Yada

Evalyne and Mario are glad to have Yada with them, and now she will have the opportunity to go to school in the United States and then decide for herself where she would like to settle for her adult life.

“She’s doing great, she’s adapted well,” Evalyne says. “Yada has been here for almost a year. She’s a senior and works at Starbucks, she drives and I couldn’t be more grateful at how well she is doing. I’m overcome.”

“If there’s any challenges with the whole adoption process — other than it taking forever! — it’s that by the time we got her she was 16 and mostly a fully formed human being,” Mario says. “That’s been the big challenges. But the beauty of it is that she’s a really good kid, she’s self-driven and wants a good career.”

Yada wants to be an entrepreneur and start her own beauty and cosmetic business. She comes from a family of entrepreneurs, and shares their drive! No matter what she decides to do, Evalyne and Mario will love and support her.

Adopt From Thailand

Many children in Thailand are waiting for a loving, permanent family.

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Jillian Prior felt adoption from Thailand tugging on her heart, so she sat down and pulled up Holt’s website to look at Thailand’s adoption requirements. Then, she caught her breath.

She and her husband, Kreig, had had adoption on their radar for a while, but they kept putting it off. Life was busy and full, and the financial component of international adoption was so intimidating.

But, that day on the computer in 2016, Jillian’s heart stopped for a second because she saw that she and Kreig were right on the upper cusp of Thailand’s age range for parent eligibility. She looked at her husband.

“It’s now or never,” Jillian said.

Committed to Adopting From Thailand

Jillian and Kreig knew early on in their marriage that they wanted to adopt. So they started doing all they could to learn about different countries and cultures. They started by opening their home to host international students. Two of those students were sisters from Thailand who impressed the Priors with tales of their home country and culture.

“We learned a lot about Thai culture from them,” Kreig says. “Their amazing culture really impressed us. The people were friendly and the things that they discussed with us about their country just had us intrigued.”

The Priors connected with both these girls so much that they traveled to Thailand and stayed with the girls’ family for two weeks.

“We fell in love with Thailand,” Jillian says. “And then we saw [children who were orphaned] while we were there and just felt God pulling on our hearts. At the end of the two weeks I told my husband, ‘This is where I want to adopt from.’”

So, four years later, motivated by Thailand’s age parameters for adoptive parents, Jillian and Kreig filled out an adoption application and sent it in to Holt, knowing they would figure out the rest later.

“Sometimes you just have to take a leap,” Kreig says, smiling.

The First Nudge: Uniting with Ansel

The Priors initially thought that they wanted to adopt a child who was 3 or younger. But when they were filling out their paperwork, Kreig said he thought they should put down that they were open to a child up to 5 years old.

“I just felt in my heart of hearts that God was telling us to look at an older age range,” Kreig says. “We saw a lot of parents who were interested in the babies or toddlers, and I think that we had it in our head that that might be a good age range for us, but there was something that told me we should be open to adopt an older child.”

So, they did.

A few months later, Jillian and Kreig got a call from Holt about a little boy. He would be 5 by the time his adoption was finalized. Their social worker told them they were actually number 16 or 17 on the waiting list for Thailand adoption, but everyone above them had put an age cap of 3 — like they’d almost done.

“I just felt in my heart of hearts that God was telling us to look at an older age range. We saw a lot of parents who were interested in the babies or toddlers, and I think that we had it in our head that that might be a good age range for us, but there was something that told me we should be open to adopt an older child.”

Kreig Prior

“So [this little boy] came to us and the social worker told us we could pass,” Jillian says. “But we said ‘send his file,’ and of course that was it. As soon as we saw his face, we knew. He looked like he was very outgoing and silly. In a lot of his pictures he was making funny faces and he looked rambunctious. That really drew us in.”

Eleven months later, they united with their son, Ansel.

Pride fills both Jillian and Kreig’s voices as they talk about how amazing Ansel is, and what an incredible experience adopting him has been. Because of Ansel, when the Priors started the adoption process for a second time, they knew they were interested in an older child again.

Adopting Again

“Because of Ansel, we actually wanted to [adopt] a child on the waiting child list,” Jillian says. Children on Holt’s waiting child photolisting may be older in age, part of a sibling group, have special medical, physical, developmental or emotional needs, have a complex family history or have other unique needs — children who require additional advocacy to find a family. This was exactly the profile of child the Priors were open to for their second adoption.

“We wanted to give a home to one of the kids who was having a harder time,” Jillian says.

They also knew a few other things, like that they wanted to adopt another boy so that Ansel would have a brother and that they wanted someone close to Ansel’s age.

While they didn’t think they had the support system or the resources to parent a child with an especially high degree of physical or mental need, they still felt drawn to the waiting child photolisting.

“There were a couple boys that fell in the age range that we were looking at,” Jillian says. “And we kind of pulled up their pictures and read their little synopsis. There was just something about Hudson that resonated with us, out of all the ones we looked at! We said, ‘This is the little guy that we think is supposed to be a part of our family.’”

The Priors traveled to Thailand in 2021 to adopt 7-year-old Hudson. He was on the photolisting both because he was older and because he had some developmental and learning delays — in part due to having spent his first years in an orphanage rather than a family.

Another Nudge: Adopting From an Orphanage

“One of the things that God surprised us with was nudging us to be open to a child from an orphanage,” Kreig reflects. “We really like the foster care system in Thailand and had a great experience with Ansel, but I think that opening up our hearts and minds and letting God lead in that area was a good thing.”

The Priors adopted Ansel from the foster care system in Thailand, known for its high standards of family-like care. Hudson, by contrast, came from an orphanage instead of living with a foster family. This in and of itself was a big difference between the two adoptions.

Children adopted from foster care tend to have a better chance in their early formative years to learn how to bond with their caregivers and thrive in a family. Unfortunately, children who spend time in an orphanage tend to have some delays. They are also at a disadvantage when it comes to developing healthy emotional attachments with their family, since they grew up with less one-on-one attention from their caregivers.

This is true in even the best of orphanages, which is why Holt is committed to family-based care. Whenever possible, Holt’s first priority is helping children stay or reunite with their birth families. If a child cannot be reunified with birth family, we seek the best care possible for them — working in many countries to help develop or expand foster care — while they wait to be united with a family. We first strive to unite children with families through domestic adoption so they can grow up in the country and culture of their birth. International adoption is pursued last, as the final remaining and best chance for a child to grow up in a loving, permanent family.

But even for children who spend time in orphanages, there is good news. Once in a loving family that can provide the right therapeutic and medical resources, and the loving, attentive care they may have missed out on in the orphanage, many children are able to catch up in development and build a strong bond with their family — children like Hudson.

“Hudson had no idea what the concept of family was,” Kreig says of when they first adopted their second son. “No clue. He thought we were his caretakers.”

This became clear by how he referred to his parents.

“He kept telling people that our names were ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad,’” Jillian adds. “He thought those were our names, not our roles.”

Helping Hudson adjust to living in a family was the most challenging aspect of all. It was so different from everything he was used to!

A Difficult Transition

“The first six months with Hudson were harder, so much harder than the first time [we adopted],” Jillian says. “They were the hardest six months of my life.”

Hudson craved structure, like he’d grown up with in the orphanage. He was always asking questions: What time are we getting up? What time are we eating? What time are we going to bed? This was challenging for the Priors, since they consider themselves a free flowing, spontaneous family.

Hudson had also learned some deceptive behaviors in the orphanage. There, it was easier to lie than to ask for what he wanted. Jillian and Kreig found that Hudson was hiding candy in his room and sneaking his Nintendo Switch to school in his backpack.

“Ansel is very follow-the-rules, very black and white,” Jillian laughs. “So these things never cross his mind to do anything like that. Speaking of opposites between the two kids!”

The Priors have been patient with their younger son. They know that so many of these behaviors are a result of his past — and that these are things they can help heal and teach him. They are gradually helping him to be comfortable in a family, and to love and trust them.

“We found out too that emotionally, Hudson can shut us off,” Kreig reflects. “When we correct him, he wants to shut it off entirely and disassociate.”

But the Priors have also seen huge growth in Hudson. He has grown comfortable with them and with his older brother, and they love seeing his personality shine. Hudson bonds quickly and easily with his peers, and has a whole group of neighborhood kids he loves to play with outside and ride bikes with.

“Everybody is Hudson’s friend,” Jillian says, smiling. “This is Hudson’s second year in the school, and when we went to meet his teacher, we were walking down the hallway and everybody there was like ‘Hi Hudson! There’s Hudson! We’re so happy to have you back!’”

The Priors had felt led to adopt Hudson, trusting God to help them parent a child from an orphanage with a few delays. They hadn’t felt equipped for more significant special needs.

But then God threw them a curveball.

An Unexpected Diagnosis

“The ironic thing is that after we got home with Hudson, we started seeing some behavioral things,” Jillian says.

Jillian and Kreig noticed Hudson making erratic movement and noises. Puzzled and a bit concerned, they started doing research and making doctor’s appointments.

It turns out that Hudson has Tourette Syndrome, a neurological disorder that causes uncontrolled vocal and motor tics. Unexpected diagnoses like these — though rare — sometimes happen once a child adopted from an orphanage is united with a family. Parents, with their loving one-on-one attention, often notice behaviors and symptoms that the busy orphanage missed.

“His Tourette’s is not severe, but higher than mild,” Jillian says. “We’ve done great with him, even though we thought we would be overwhelmed! God said, ‘You’ll be fine!’”

The Priors have felt surrounded by resources and support for Hudson, especially at school.

“God has us in a school system that provides a lot of extra remedial help for him,” Kreig says. “In fact, it’s known as being a school system that is one of the best in the Columbus area.”

There are many first-generation Americans who only speak a foreign language at home in the Priors’ Ohio school district, so there are many teachers and resources for Hudson as he learns English as a second language.

“He has been learning by leaps and bounds,” Jillian says with pride. “Tourette’s waxes and wanes, often triggered by stress. So when he starts back at school or school gets hard, it will flare up and he’ll get this tic where he sounds like he’s stuttering. His teachers are so patient with him! You can tell when he gets more comfortable in the school year because that tic will kind of go away or not happen as often.”

With help from Hudson’s teachers and his neurologist, Hudson is thriving at school — and at home, too, where he and Ansel have grown by leaps and bounds together as brothers.  

Adjusting to Brotherhood

“One of the hardest things was that Ansel had a really hard time with Hudson, much harder than we anticipated,” Jillian remembers.

The boys are only about a year apart. Today, Ansel is 10 and Hudson is 9. But Ansel’s maturity is closer to someone who is 13 to 15, while Hudson’s developmental age matches kids a few years younger than him.

“We tell our boys that we love them often. And we tell them that before they came to us they were loved, deeply, and we hope they always know that.”

Jillian Prior

Ansel is very logical and scientific, while Hudson is extroverted and artistic. They are completely different, something their parents cherish, but which also led to a difficult start in their relationship.

“Ansel struggles with anger, that’s a lot of what has come with him,” Jillian says. “So when Hudson came, a lot of anger came out that we hadn’t seen before, not at that level. He was just angry all the time. In that first six months I thought, ‘Are we ever going to get our old Ansel back?’”

But time has helped heal this rift between the brothers, and recently they’ve started to bond.

“These past three or four months we’ve noticed that Ansel isn’t getting as angry or frustrated with Hudson,” Jillian says. “And he is actually teaching him things and taking him under his wing.”

Jillian and Kreig turned their extra bedroom into a playroom just for the boys, where they can hang out together and watch movies. Hudson bought a couple camp cots with his money to put in the room, and Jillian and Kreig make them agree on a movie to watch together.

“It’s like they’re camping out, the weekend campout room,” Kreig says. “We’ve noticed that that really bonds the two of them together. When they come out of that room, they seem to be closer with each other.”

One parenting strategy that has also worked when the boys aren’t getting along is to give them something to work on together, like a puzzle or something to build. Jillian and Kreig set a timer for five or 10 minutes and then leave the room. When Ansel and Hudson come out, they are usually on better terms.

Trusting God Through It All

Jillian and Kreig have learned a great deal about adoption, especially about adopting older boys with special needs. There were so many hurdles that they feel God helped them overcome.

This trust in God’s provision has characterized every step of the Priors’ adoption journey and they say they are so grateful that they moved in the direction He was leading them! Following these little nudges from God has brought them two wonderful sons, and a lifetime of joy.

“We tell our boys that we love them often,” Jillian says. “And we tell them that before they came to us they were loved, deeply, and we hope they always know that.”

Adopt From Thailand

Many children in Thailand are waiting for a loving, permanent family.

thailand adoption info

The post Little Nudges appeared first on Holt International.

One of the biggest questions we get from prospective adoptive families is, “How do we actually get matched with a child?” This is a great question! Even if you are already moving forward with international adoption, you may still be wondering about this question. There are two primary ways a child and family are united through the adoption matching process.

Families inquire about a specific child on our Waiting Child Photolisting.

We feature many children who are waiting for families on our photolisting page. Here, prospective families can search children by country and age and read descriptions of the child’s personality and individual needs. Children appear on our photolisting when they are in need of extra advocacy. They are usually older, part of a sibling group or have significant medical or special needs. Oftentimes, a prospective family has a sense of certain needs or child profiles they feel particularly equipped to handle. In these situations, the photolisting is a helpful way to learn about specific children. A family may inquire about a specific child on the photolisting, and then a social worker will work with the family to determine the family’s eligibility and if they will be a good match for that specific child. However, it does not feature all the children who are on the international adoption track.

Most of the children Holt matches with adoptive families never appear on the photolisting!

This leads to the second way families and children find each other during the adoption matching process: through their social worker, once they have selected a country program.

Most of the adoption matches Holt facilitates come from detailed conversations a family has with their Holt social worker. Social workers assess information about which countries a family is eligible to adopt from, what kind of child needs they feel equipped to handle and how their home functions based on a detailed homestudy. Then, social workers are trained to pair this information with knowledge about children who are waiting for families. Once they have done so, they recommend a match to the family. At this point, the family takes some time to consider the recommendation. Then they either accept it to move forward with the adoption or request to wait for another child match.

Holt social workers have years of experience with this process, and they have matched and helped unite thousands of children with loving, permanent families.

Want to get started? One way to get in touch with them is to attend an adoption information session, which are led by Holt social workers and introduce prospective adoptive families to the international adoption process. These sessions are free, held online and provide an open forum for any other questions you have! Register for one below, or get touch with our inquiry team at adopt@holtinternational.org.

Join us for an upcoming adoption information meeting!

These remote meetings are open to families anywhere in the U.S.

Register here!

The post How Does the Adoption Matching Process Work? appeared first on Holt International.

In July 2019, we were two years into our marriage when we started talking seriously about growing our family. I felt passionately about international adoption, and had started researching every available country program. My husband Nate was open, but not yet enthusiastic about jumping into any particular adoption program.

One night, I got an email from Holt – “Last chance to meet the kids!” was the subject line.

“Meet the kids?” I read and read again. From everything I knew about international adoption up to this point, I understood that families rarely ever met a child prior to landing in that child’s country to complete their adoption process. That uncertainty was something I was comfortable with, but Nate was worried about.

In the “Last chance to meet the kids!” email, Holt gave an overview of Kidsave’s Summer Miracles program. This is a partnership with Colombia that brings older children to the U.S. to stay with host families. While the kids are in the U.S., their host families advocate for them to find a potential adoptive family. Many are considering adoption themselves. Kidsave hosts community events where prospective families have the chance to get to know the kids and learn more about Colombian culture and traditions.

Nate read over my shoulder and said “Colombia, that would be really great!” Nate had lived in Mexico for two years. He had also majored in Spanish with a minor in Latin American studies and had taught Spanish to junior high students. For him, Colombia and the prospect of meeting our potential future child were enough compelling. It pushed him over the edge from entertaining the idea of adoption to actually taking a big step forward. This was the turning point for us!

That “last chance” that Holt and Kidsave were referring to in their email was for an event in Los Angeles the upcoming weekend. It was the final event of the Summer Miracles program, before the kids packed up to go back to Colombia. With only a few days between the email and the event, we got in touch with Kidsave. They told us about two kids for whom a family had not yet come forward. So, we packed our bags and drove to Los Angeles.

Meeting the Kidsave Team and Waiting Kids

We got to Los Angeles and went straight to the Kidsave event. The kids were compiling photos of their summers into scrapbooks, their last memory-keeping activity before going home. We met the first of the two kids we had learned about. This was the child who, based on everything Kidsave had told us, was the one we thought we’d want to spend the most time with that day. We liked her, but we didn’t feel a strong connection.

Then the second of the two kids came in. She was about an hour late to the event, and I felt my heart leap. I’ll call her Luz. It was like love at first sight, but with an overwhelming sensation of parental affection for this stranger. We sat with Luz while she scrapbooked, Nate gently leading the conversation. She was initially shocked at his Spanish, and then she gradually became more comfortable and delighted at their ability to communicate so easily. I quietly sat and held my tears in, sprinkling in what little I could say in Spanish at that point. We were short on time, and someone from Kidsave pulled me aside to ask if we would like more time with Luz, outside of the event. I was so grateful to have a little more time and shocked that this was even a possibility.

We went on a chaperoned outing to Universal Studios. During that outing, we learned that Luz loved reggaetón, cheeseburgers and French fries (although they made her sick), and dancing. We taught her about Harry Potter and Hogwarts, and she taught us a hand-clapping game. It was an amazing day. We dropped her off later that night at her host family’s house, and she ran to go inside. She stopped, turned around, and ran back to hug us both goodbye.

On the drive home, we talked about Luz’s special needs and what it would take for us to support her. There were so many things that both worried and excited us about the prospect of being her parents. The week after getting home, we officially decided to pursue Luz’s adoption. We submitted our application to Holt at the end of July 2019.

The Heartbreaking Turn in Our Journey

We soon had our first visit with the social worker from the Holt coordinating agency  that was completing our homestudy. Everything was perfect. She left with a lighthearted goodbye, saying that she would write up the report and get it back to us and Holt in a couple of weeks. A week after the visit, the social worker called me. She said she had been up at night thinking of us and Luz, that she was deeply concerned it was not a good match.

My brain couldn’t process a “no” on the child we already considered our daughter. We fought the decision, our social worker had calls with Holt, more meetings with us, and landed on the same decision — she didn’t think it was a good idea for us to adopt Luz. Luz was an older child with a significant trauma history, and we were first-time parents who wanted Luz to be our first of multiple children. Our social worker saw this as a mismatch. She did not want to put us on a path where we could potentially not have other children because Luz’s needs were so heavy.

I was devastated. We spent weeks grieving. There was good reasoning behind our social worker’s decision, but I could see nothing more than an impediment to Luz becoming part of a forever family. Part of our forever family.

After some time, we reconvened with our social worker. She gave us guidelines for the profile of child she thought would be the best fit in our family, and again I was devastated as I realized that if Luz had only been a couple years younger or if she had experienced less trauma, our age request would have been approved.

Holt and our homestudy social worker gave us options for next steps. We could pursue a younger child on a waiting child list, pivot to a traditional program where we would wait for a child match or abandon the process altogether. We decided to stay in the Colombia program, but on the traditional path. I couldn’t take the heartbreak again of attaching ourselves to a specific child, knowing the likelihood of that match falling through for any number of reasons. Losing the opportunity to parent Luz was not our only heartbreak in the adoption process, but it was our deepest one. She was eventually matched with another family, something I’m extremely grateful for.

Moving Through Colombia’s Traditional Adoption Path

After we’d submitted all our dossier materials and gotten them approved by the Colombian government, the waiting began. Before we started the adoption process, I had heard that the wait was the hardest part. After our mounds of paperwork, psychological testing and evaluation, and medical appointments, I thought everyone saying that was being silly. How could waiting be hard? You literally don’t have to do anything. Boy, was I wrong.

Going through all the steps prior to the wait gave us milestones, and things to look forward to. Once we were through all that and only waiting, there was nothing we could do to give ourselves any sense of forward movement. Waiting was so, so hard. Every single day we prayed to be matched to our child. For any families in the waiting period, I recommend lots of hobbies, and savoring whatever family dynamic you’re in today. I practiced Spanish on Duolingo every day — I’m currently on a 1,123-day streak! We went on a lot of weekend trips, since we wanted to save our vacation days for Colombia. We enjoyed brunches, concerts and other activities that are more challenging with a young child.

Being Matched to OUR SON

In September 2021, a year and a half after our dossier had been approved, and over two years after we applied to Holt’s Colombia program, we learned about the boy — I’ll call him Santi — who we were matched with. We were cautiously elated. On September 15, we received his full file.

On September 23, we submitted our letter of acceptance, expressing our appreciation and acceptance of our child match. Having an actual child, who we knew by name, who we had Zoomed with, read to, sang to, and prayed for, made it so hard to wait for the remaining processing steps to be completed. We had to wait over the holidays, and going through Christmas without our son was especially hard. We knew that he was safe and cared for, but we desperately wanted to start the process of truly knowing him.

Meeting Santi in Colombia

Finally, on January 10, 2022, we landed in Bogotá. On January 13, we went to the orphanage, La Casa, and met our (then) 19-month-old son for the first time. He eyed us suspiciously and sucked his thumb vigorously. We read the book “Monstruo Triste, Monstruo Feliz” to him as a La Casa social worker slowly transitioned him into my arms. I moved him into his dad’s arms and he abruptly fell asleep. In retrospect, we see how fear caused him to freeze. He spent the next two days “frozen,” inadvertently tricking us into thinking we had the most peaceful, quiet toddler of all time. Aside from being frozen, he also ate everything as if it would be his last meal. He could put down a large plate full of fruit, arepas and pancakes in minutes. So we thought we had a calm, quiet, perfect eater!

But after two days, his fight response kicked in — especially at bedtime. Putting Santi down to sleep was emotionally and physically exhausting for us and traumatizing for him every single night. He also stopped eating. He had an ear infection we were treating with antibiotics for our first several days together. At the time of our meeting, he had spent the most recent 90% of his life living at the same children’s home. Our entrance into his life was a complete shock to his system. We spent many of our first nights together with each of us in tears. We couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Santi’s Success

Despite the grief, Santi also triumphed in our first days together. He went from barely crawling to fully walking in 17 days. We had to baby-proof our apartment midway through our trip. By 20 days, he was running. We went on so many park visits, outings to explore Bogotá, and enjoyed so many laughs and snuggles along the way. By the time we returned to the children’s home near the end of our four-week trip for a final meeting, it was clear that he was ours and we were his. He was anxious throughout that visit and clung to us. He visibly relaxed when we left, together.

To be abundantly clear, I’m not saying that the home was in any way a bad place. Santi received exceptional care and love while he was there, and we’re forever grateful for everyone who touched his life there. But he had found his home with us and he knew it.

Welcoming Santi Home

On February 3, 2022, we flew back home with Santi. He met our dog, Oso. Initially, Santi was scared of the 90-lb teddy bear that kept trying to lick his face, but now they are best friends. Slowly but surely, Santi has become comfortable in his own room, in his own bed, and now has to be dragged out of bed on weekend mornings like a teenager. The miracle of seeing Santi happily laying down in his bed is not lost on me. There were nights in Colombia and in the early days at home that I thought we’d never see the day.

Santi had a difficult history and complex medical file. This included a VSD, which is a hole in the wall between the two lower chambers of the heart. When we discussed it with our doctor, she advised us to mentally prepare for open-heart surgery when he’s older. Because Santi was especially small for his age and growing slowly, we had reason to believe the VSD was affecting him significantly.

The Miracle

In May 2022, a few months after coming home, Santi had an EKG, an echocardiogram. A pediatric cardiologist carefully listened to his heart. In June 2022, we got the call from that cardiologist that the VSD had closed! Santi could immediately stop his medication, and he needed no follow-up appointments. There have been other medical things in the 18 months that we’ve been home with Santi, but his VSD closing itself is a miracle that makes life a little more care-free for Santi and for us.

Like many children from similar backgrounds, Santi is delayed in some areas of his development. We’ve benefited from early childhood intervention, which sent a specialist to our home every one to two weeks until Santi turned 3, to work on speech development through play and to advise us on other things we can do to aid his development. He’s continuing to go to speech therapy at our local children’s rehabilitation center. Day after day, he’s doing and saying more. It’s an honor to have a front-row seat to his life and growth. He is full of joy, laughter and love. We are incredibly blessed to have him in our family.

What We’ve Learned

Some things that we’ve learned on this journey that we want other prospective parents to know:

Learning #1

If you have a plan for how and who you’re adopting, crumple it up and throw it in the trash. In our story, I only described the one, most major turn of events, but there were several. You truly need to “expect the unexpected” throughout the adoption journey.

Learning #2

Your life, your child’s life and your bond can become so much richer when you take the time to learn (or re-learn) their native language. We realize we’re on an uphill climb to preserve Santi’s Spanish in a primarily English-speaking world, but we’re doing our best. We speak Spanish with him, with each other, and we want to eventually put him in a dual immersion program. It’s one piece of his Colombian identity that we hope he can always preserve. Don’t underestimate the power of a few minutes on Duolingo every day, especially if you’re like me with some formal Spanish education in your background! It is worth the time to seek out Spanish-speaking providers — doctors, dentists, teachers, therapists, etc. You won’t always be successful, but it is worth a little wait to give your child that extra comfort and connection with a provider who sounds like the people from their first home. Spanish playgroups are also plentiful, even if you have to “play” through Zoom. And speaking Spanish in public together has led us to meet so many kind and supportive native Spanish speakers, even a lot of Colombians!

Learning #3

Don’t waste your time obsessing over timelines and comparing others’ timelines to your own. I was so guilty of this, trying to make my own crystal ball of predictions for when each thing would happen. Your dossier could be approved in a month or in a year. Your match could come quickly or could take three years. Don’t get hung up on travel approval coming before any particular holidays, birthdays or other milestones. Eventually, you’ll get to the finish line. And then you have a lifetime to go after that with the family you were meant to have! 

Adopt From Colombia

Many children in Colombia are waiting for a loving, permanent family.

colombia adoption info

The post Our Adoption Journey, from Disappointment to Miracle appeared first on Holt International.

The bottom line is that working with a Hague-accredited agency (like Holt!) means you can have confidence about your adoption. Rest assured that each step of the process is ethical and operates in the best interests of the child. Here are a few more points that are important to know!

In 1993, the Hague Convention passed a set of international policies and procedures regarding international adoption. They were designed to ensure that international adoption occurs ethically, focused on the rights and dignity of the child or children involved. Holt International pioneered many aspects of the Hague Convention. In addition, representatives from Holt also helped craft the legislation.

In the 1980s, two representatives from Holt traveled to the Netherlands. There they participated in the Special Commission to the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption. Their names were David Kim and Susan Soonkeum Cox, long-time Holt employees who advocated passionately for children and their rights.

In his book “Who Will Answer?” David Kim wrote, “The final draft was vigilantly worked out by more than 150 delegates from 67 countries with different languages, cultures, legal systems, and religions, and finally signed. It was the most important event since intercountry adoption services were introduced after the Second World War.”

The Hague Convention outlined best practices for cooperation between governments, establishing a central authority within a country to manage adoptions and accreditation of adoption agencies.

But why is Hague accreditation important today? What does it mean for adoptive families and children waiting to be adopted? We hope the following answers some of your questions!

Why is Hague accreditation important to adoptive families today?

Its requirements remain closely followed by reputable adoption agencies in countries around the world to this day. This ensures an ethical adoption process for all involved.

What differentiates an agency that is Hague accredited?

Agencies with Hague accreditation adhere to a high standard of transparency and diligence in their work with children, families and governments, both at home and overseas.

“Hague accredited agencies go through a process every four years to renew their accreditation,” says Lisa Vertulfo, Holt’s vice president of adoption services. “There are standards Hague agencies must meet in all areas of their adoption work. An accrediting entity reviews us. Then, in the middle of those four years, there is an ongoing monitoring and oversight process. They review things like our financials to ensure we’re meeting the standards, and they evaluate how we work with families, overseas partners and agencies here in U.S.”

So, when you adopt from a Hague-accredited agency, you can have full confidence that your prospective child was treated ethically from beginning to end. You are indeed their last, best hope for a permanent family.

“Holt always had most of the same standards for adoption — almost all of our process were the same before The Hague convention,” says Lisa. “But what this does it is gives you a structure and clear guidelines to work within. Right now, they talk about trying to keep the child with birth family or doing domestic adoption. We’ve been talking about that forever! Our philosophies have always been aligned.”

What does Hague accreditation mean for the child?

Hague accreditation also requires that any child who might be eligible for international adoption must first go through a process where all other options are exhausted. First, agencies like Holt pursue reuniting the child with their birth family, if at all possible. Sometimes the family cannot be found or voluntarily relinquishes their rights. If so, the next step is to pursue domestic adoption for the child. Hague accreditation prioritizes the child remaining in their birth country and culture wherever possible. If domestic adoption is not an option, then, and only then, does the adoption agency begin seeking a family for the child through international adoption.

Should I not pursue adoption with a country that hasn’t ratified the Hague Convention?

While Hague accreditation does establish important parameters for child protection, in the United States there is something called the Universal Accreditation Act (UAA). The UAA mandates that an adoption service provider (ASP), an organization like Holt, must comply with all of the Hague’s guidelines — regardless of whether or not the country they are working with has ratified the Hague Convention.

“Sometimes a country may not have ratified the Hague due to their nation’s level of development and organization,” says Lisa. “You have to have a strong infrastructure in place, for example, like a central adoption authority. Some countries aren’t equipped for that. But the UAA assures families pursuing an intercountry adoption that, regardless of which country they intend to adopt from, the [U.S.-based agency] they choose will comply with the same ethical standards of practice and conduct.”

In other words, pursuing international adoption from the United States ensures that any child on track to be placed with a family is already safeguarded by the highest standard of adoption protection.

What else should people know about The Hague convention?

“When you’re impacting so many lives with an adoption process, there can’t be too many safeguards around it,” says Lisa. “I think that Hague accreditation really just provides that structure and safety. You are doing things in the best interests of the child’s birth family, foster family and future adoptive family. I think that adoptive parents, especially informed ones, want to make sure that all those things are in place.”

Sign up for an Adoption Information Meeting!

Are you considering adopting a child? Attend a free Zoom adoption information meeting to learn about country requirements, parent eligibility, the profile of children waiting for families — and ask any other questions you have about international adoption!

Register here

The post Why Is Hague Accreditation Important? appeared first on Holt International.

As the Suess family gets ready to travel to pick up their children from Taiwan, they wrote a thank you to those who made the grant possible!

I want to express my gratitude for the grant we received to support our adoption. Especially when we shifted our thoughts from adopting a single child to siblings, the cost of the adoption suddenly became larger than we had expected. We were thrilled to receive a grant that brought the cost down so that we could adopt a sibling pair without the added expense.

A little bit about our new family: One very interesting thing about our adoption is the fact that my husband, David, was adopted himself through Holt International! It is thrilling for us to be able to come full-circle and be able to adopt our own children now through Holt!

Right now, we have six children, and are awaiting our travel itinerary for going to Taiwan to pick up our newest children! Our eldest child also came to us through international adoption. That was 23 years ago! After having five biological children before returning to adoption to add to our family, we discovered how much international adoption has changed in those 23 years. It is more expensive, has a much longer timeline, and involves a lot more hurdles.

More than the grant money itself, the knowledge that there are people out there that believe so much in the good of international adoption that they would go out of their way to fund grant programs like this makes us feel so supported in our decision and helped us to persevere through a long two-year process.

Thank you!

Jennifer and David Suess | Holt Adoptive Parents

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The post Coming Full Circle: Thank You from the Suess Family! appeared first on Holt International.

Colombia is home to more than 9,000 children who don’t have a permanent family to call their own. These kids want what every kid wants: love. But while domestic adoption is becoming more common in Colombia, there is still a tremendous need for families to adopt internationally. In this video, Colombia adoption coordinator Carolina Moreno shares about the need for families to adopt — and what it’s like to see children be united with loving families through adoption.

Contact us at adopt@holtinternational.org to learn more about adopting through Holt’s Colombia program — or even hosting an older child to help them join a family!

Join us for an upcoming adoption information meeting!

These remote meetings are open to families anywhere in the U.S.

Register here!

The post Children in Colombia Need Adoptive Families appeared first on Holt International.